the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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