I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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