I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you didnt know i had herpes?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize