i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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