i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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