i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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