I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
birth control should be required to get into college
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
