put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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