Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
