you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
