What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
