I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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