ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
