Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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