Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
