We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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