then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
bring money and cleavage
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
