I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
