Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize