I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
