Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
