I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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