you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have fence marks all over my body
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
