you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Pooping to opera.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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