she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
party gras won. party gras always wins.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
