im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
