I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
