The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
