Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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