walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
