Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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