She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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