well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
