I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
