I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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