Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
