Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize