K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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