I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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