The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize