The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
