But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
