I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
