Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize