Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
