i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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