Pappa wants mamma naked
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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