Cold hands, warm shart.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
