Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
