the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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