I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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