I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
