I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
