Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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