On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
