Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
