Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
