I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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